5 Fun Things I Noticed This Weekend | Cup of Jo (2024)

Yes this resonates with me!! We are not in the sports world (my kids are 7 and almost 5) but I think in general kids are watched far too closely. Everything they say and do is documented and commented on. It’s overwhelming! Kids should have space to just play and enjoy themselves. They become so reliant on adult approval and it destroys their confidence and autonomy.

I’m just curious if you’re also a parent? As a parent I just can’t keep from cheering my kid on ! Especially the younger ages that are being so brave and trying so hard.

Yes, I’m also a parent of one of the players.

Thank you for saying this S.T! I have been showing up late, & even skipping, some of my daughter’s matches because I can see how the team parents ramp up the stress at games. I love hearing the play by play on the ride home from my daughter and her friends. It’s in their words and through their eyes. And they often have complaints about other teammates parents who cheer too loudly only for their own kiddos or immediately critique their child’s performance and give un-asked-for advice.
It sounds like you are trying to create a respectful space for the kids to compete. That is what I hope sports is for my kids.

Oh my god good for you!!! I got dunked learning to surf in high school and while I continued to love swimming, I never really got over my fear of big waves and the feeling of being rolled around under water, unable to get out. Proud of you for facing it and may your confidence continue to grow!!

You are so cool, Alli!

That coach sounds so great! My husband coached our daughter’s softball team last year and one of the philosophies he had was “Coach with information, not with volume.”

Converse must be making a come back … my daughter (11) just bought the exact same pair I had when I was her age (hot pink high tops!). But she got them customized at an Etsy store with floral embroidery, so she is way cooler than me.

Eeesh, I just accidentally posted a TikTok link without any explanation. If you want to laugh and smile all day, please watch Makin’ Bacon Pancakes on repeat!

https://www.tiktok.com/@foreverhomepetrescue/video/7374514858122857770?q=green%20bird%20brigade&t=1717514630727

love this!

I can’t stop singing makin’ bacon pancakes now and I’m not complaining.

https://www.tiktok.com/@foreverhomepetrescue/video/7374514858122857770?q=green%20bird%20brigade&t=1717514630727

Hello! I have curtains over my street level window and most of the street level apartments I pass have shades or curtains. There isn’t a lot of natural light that comes in anyway, since there are buildings nearby. I do miss having a lot of natural light! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This made me laugh a little because I lived in LA for 10 years, and people there kind of have this understanding of like, don’t look into windows (or cars, because yes we do spend that much time in traffic) except okay maybe a quick glance and then look away. Anyway, I got used to walking around my house however I liked, curtains open, knowing people wouldn’t look in. But last year my husband and I moved to a small-ish town on the central coast and people 100% look into windows here! I’ve learned this the hard way, making eye contact through my wide-open front window with neighbors while in my underwear/topless… more than once! Eek!!

AMEN!

Mel, this sounds like paradise. What a dream. enjoy, enjoy!

I live in MN too and this made me smile. I’m loving the rain! Sounds like you’re living in my dream home!!

fellow minnesotan here – loving the rain for my yard, but stressed every time about getting water in my basem*nt!!!!!!! we’ve had some big storms! my goal this year is fixing the issues that are contributing to water in the basem*nt, i’m tired of the stress.

I used to live in MN since my birth, now live in CO and I miss watching the summer thunderstorms roll in.
If we have any rain here it only seems to last no more than 40 minutes :)

Ah, enjoy the start to your sweet summer, Amanda. And a massive THANK YOU for all you and your fellow teachers do all year!!!

My kiddos first ever soccer game with a coach as positive and constructive as Toby’s as the little kids ran in mayhem and scored goals for the other team

A coaching session that came just at the right time with a convergence of work challenges

I was coming off a difficult week and had a kid-free weekend (daughter was with her Dad). I was feeling disconnected and semi-disgruntled with the man I’ve been dating, mostly for some minor communication blips and lack of alignment in our schedules lately. I was questioning if I should continue seeing him. When we finally saw each other Friday, I spoke up, brought up that I’d been struggling and asked for connection and support, something I had stopped trying to do in my former marriage and am working on doing more in this new phase of life. WIN for me!

BUT THEN he patiently listened, brought out some Non-Violent Communication lists of needs and feelings to help me articulate myself and made me feel very heard, understood and supported. Then in the last few days he made multiple lovely gestures to help us be more connected. Dear reader, I’m still dating him. Shocker.

That’s maybe more than a glimmer, but felt like it was worth sharing!

This is so good! Did he produce an actual list? Could you possibly share it?

Wow, teachers are the best :)

Sob! YC this is so lovely!

Really profound.

Congrats Erica!!! That’s so exciting, and I totally hear you – it’s like you tap into a new plane of love when you’re having a kid

My sister called this morning to say she’s headed to the hospital to make me an aunt for the 1st time! 💕

Good vibes and thoughts as she’s a couple of weeks early.

My glimmer :)

It is!! Here with validation x 1000. No advice, no solution. Just sitting with you here.

As a parent of two young toddlers and another baby on the way, I couldn’t agree more. Our marriage is hard right now. There is often a lot more stress and anger and being so tired than there is love and enjoyment, but we perservere. You’re not alone. I wish more couples talked about it, because we can’t be alone, but how would we know? No one seems to say it if they are…

Definitely read Miranda July’s new novel: All Fours. Even if you don’t relate to the specifics of the main character’s needs as a woman, there is much truth in it about precisely your situation. I am listening to the audiobook, which she narrates, and it is amazing.

Our marriage was THE hardest after having a baby- it was so rough on us, especially during the newborn stage. I hear you!

I had a friend tell me once, when I was pregnant with my first: “The first year of my baby’s life was NOT the high point of my marriage. Probably the low point so far.” Even that one comment gave me so much validation in the early years (which I am still in.) This sh*t is HARD on a marriage. There’s a clip of Michelle Obama saying she hated her husband for about a decade, when they had young kids, even though she’s always loved him. ha! you’re not alone.

A big part of the problem is social media. Everyone is only posting their good times and your life looks lousy by comparison. Fifty years ago when I was having babies, we expected it to be hard and it was. When we talked to our friends on the phone, we bitched nonstop. We knew all of us were in the same boat. We were part of a community and we had each other’s backs.

Rooting for you, no matter what the outcome is. My husband and I are nearing twenty years together and it’s been a long, (sometimes heartbreaking) to discover we don’t parent the same and have different expectations of our kids (14,9,6). Sometimes I wonder if our entire reason for being together was to make these beautiful kids. We’re so far a part right now and it’s hard to admit, but I don’t know if I actually want to be closer again. Sometimes I think life apart would be better for all of us.
Sorry to hijack your post. I just want you to know you’re not alone and I think happiness can be found at the end of either outcome. Hang in there!

So True !!! Parent of 2 young kiddos and its super hard. For me it is helpful to try and remember to see my partner as a partner and not just a co-parent. But its crazy hard. Proud of you for speaking up for what you need in your marriage.

Yep. Spot on. Nobody talks about it and the early years are so relentless.

The original quote is on this site somewhere, but I’ll say it again: “Your partner is not the enemy, the baby is the enemy.”

Right there with you! You are most certainly not alone. Also, can someone please explain how to be intimate with your partner when you’ve got a baby strapped to you 24/7 and a toddler ?! That’s been the biggest adjustment we feel like there is NO time for us right now. Woof it’s brutal! All that to say you aren’t alone :)

Our hardest stretch yet since #2 arrived, no question. You’re definitely not alone. Sending love and hope as you work through.

Sitting here with you on this. You’re not alone!

I think it’s great that you’re having these conversations; the worst time in my own marriage was for sure when we had a baby and a toddler. It was just so physically exhausting, and yes, so, so lonely. Almost 20 years later, it gives us stories to tell and a time we look back on with a bit of pride and a lot of relief – it was crazy-hard! Wishing you all the best.

@Joanna Goddard, it would be lovely to see a post about this stage of life, and how different people manage the tensions/joys with their partners. :)

Right here with you as well.

Original poster here – tearing up at the replies. Best community.

Yes! I have a 4 and 2 year old, live in another country that’s not my own (Australia, I’m Canadian) and I feel isolated enough without my lifelong friends and family, but my husband is deep into an engineering degree, depressed and stressed, and I feel like I don’t have any deep connections with anyone anymore. All he talks about is school, and if I try to bring up interesting things I learned, or conversations I’ve had with someone, all I get is ‘huh’ or ‘oh yeah’ and I feel so lonely! I worry a lot that we’ve fallen out of love and we’ll never get back what we had for five years pre-children.

Thank you for saying this!
I’m a stay at home Mom if a toddler and I feel the exact same. No one seems to talk about this and it can feel very lonely.

I’m here too….1yo and 3yo. There have been a few moments in the past few months when I’ve thought our marriage might not survive this phase. It’s so hard. Love to all of cupofjo readers who are going through this.

omg that is so sweet!! awwwww

I don’t play, but my 8yo started lessons last summer. She’s taken to it like a fish in water, and I love having the house filled with music. The recitals are the best – SO earnest and pure sweetness. My face hurts from smiling the whole evening.

how exciting!!!!

I mean closing costs not down payment

Thank you for the tips Phoebe! Congrats on your new home :)

I am grateful for posts like this. I’m having a really hard 2024 – it’s been one really hard/sad thing after another – and I’m not seeing many glimmers. I thought hard to come up with this:

I started working with a personal trainer three times a week. She consistently tells me I’m strong, and it makes me feel so good. She’ll say, “Let’s start lifting this weight because you’re strong.” “Let’s start with this kettlebell because your RDL is strong.” “I’m impressed you help the plank for that long. You’re strong.” Friends, I’m below-average fitness right now, but, in those moments, I do feel strong.

wow, I love this, Lauren. good for you!!!

Lauren, this is amazing and inspiring! You are so strong.

As someone having a hard 2024, working out has really improved my life this year. I work out in my basem*nt with Peloton, but it has provided me with an overall sense of calm that I can’t seem to recreate elsewhere right now. I’m happy for you, Lauren. You are strong. The fact that you are showing up and doing the thing speaks to your strength.

this is fantastic! good for you, Lauren! we’re proud of you and you ARE strong.

Lauren, you are amazing for being able to take charge of things and work with a trainer three times a week. She’s right, you are strong.
Best wishes for a better half to the year.

My personal trainer is like a therapist too! After nursing my dad for a few years until he passed, taking on the family trust and all its responsibilities; I needed to do something for me. Self car and stress release. I’m so glad you are giving this gift to yourself. Wishing you a brighter and hopefully more ease in your future!

Lauren, congrats! Planks are HARD – you are strong!

Andrew Bird is so incredible live!!!

I’ll ask her! I really like framebridge. you can also find frames on eBay and then get custom mats cut to fit your photo.

Framebridge is the best. But, if you have pictures on your phone a less expensive but good alternative is Keepsake.

Please consider supporting a local frame shop if you have one. True framers are artists and we’re losing them.

Last week was “short,” given the holiday weekend preceding it, but somehow felt several thousand years long?

I had an unexpected, almost-zero-notice reunion with a sorta-friend from high school (I was the goth who asked him to prom, he was the king of campus who said no and ended up regretting it, it was the John Hughes movie that wasn’t). It turns out the real ending to a story like that is that you just meet up at a little outdoor cafe table the Lower East Side and laugh together about your weird, ultra-conservative home town and all the stuff you’ve each been through and learned since then, and then you hug and go back to your lives?

I would watch the sequel to this needs to be a John Hughes flick.

Oh how I love this for all of you!

THIS made my day. I am calling it quits now while the going is good.

It’s so obvious from this description just how much you love your cat, and I love it 🥹

👀 snorked!

yummmmmmm

CONGRATULATIONS! That is huge.

Hooray to only one more day! Congratulations Jen!!!

Sending you all the best, Jen! I’m so sorry you have been going through this and so glad to here about this milestone.

Woo-hoooooo!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! 🩷🩷🩷

amazing news! so happy for you.

Amazing!! Well done Jen. Sending much love and healing wishes (from someone who is just over 5yrs clear from my last chemo!!). Hugs xx

Congratulations Jen and the very best wishes to you. I hope that you recover quickly and have a wonderful summer with your twins!

Yay you, Jen! Sending you a big virtual hug!

Wow, love this!!

As the mother of a daughter who is also studying sports management in college, I love LOVE this story!!

this is amazing! <3

So excited for you summer, that’s amazing!

My glimmers of late: We’re having a garage built, and I decided to paint it a combination of a mossy green on the bottom and a terracotta orange at the top. It’s not for everyone, but seeing that pop of color in a once-drab backyard just makes me so happy.

Also, my husband and I watched a movie last night with Juliette Binoche, called “The Taste of Things.” It’s a slow burn but so romantic. Highly recommend if you like those kinds of movies.

This movie is incredible!

I loved that movie and recently blogged about it. Not only is it romantic, the food details are great. Wonderful story.

aw this warms my heart – I grew up in Omaha, I thought it was the most boring place ever at the time (and I worked at Henry Doorly Zoo every summer as a teen!) but have such appreciation for it now as an underrated city.

Yay, so happy you enjoyed your time in Omaha. :)

This makes me super excited for our upcoming trip to Omaha! I’m carving out a full day for the Zoo!

YAY! My zoo-loving kid has been talking about the Omaha Zoo for nearly two years (right after we trekked to San Diego for its zoo). We leave in 3 weeks and it makes me so happy to hear it is a destination for other COJers this summer. For kids, or kids at heart, there’s a candy shop in Old Market that we will also hit up.

Don’t miss Hollywood Candy in the Old Market- can’t describe it…it is more than a candy shop- the collections on display are unlike anything I have ever seen. Completely shocked in the best possible way by Omaha!

AMK, this is wonderful news! Thank you for sharing it with us. So excited that you not only get to share your amazing art but also your amazing thoughts with The People! It’s going to be great! xox

Congrats AMK!! That’s brilliant!

We had this situation with my 8 year old daughter in soccer. Her coach only cared about winning, would not give anywhere near equal game time to the kids (they were 8!!!), would not switch them around in different positions for experience. And there was A LOT of yelling. We asked a few other parents how they were seeing things and they agreed that this was not good at all so my husband decided to contact the club manager about it. It did not go well. The club manager supported his coach and none of the other parents would speak up along side us when it came time. We were so disappointed. This was our daughter’s 4th season with this club and she had always had a great experience but this coach totally depleted her love for playing. So when the club manager offered us a refund for the season if we wanted to quit we took it and left the club. Next season we’ll move onto a different club a little bit further drive from our house (if she wants to play).
So after my experience, my advice would be – if your kid still enjoys playing, finish out the season and then next season make sure you sign on to a different team(or club/league) with a different coach. Watch the other coaches in the club/league this season to see who you like better.

Thanks Alex this is my thought too (and similar to our experience in the details). Thank you!

yes! babes! so good. and I LOVE that you are aiming for balance as a parent, I believe in that so strongly! we are teaching our children that mothers are people, too! and their hopes/dreams/needs/desires/preferences count! xoxo

Such a gift to yourself and your future adult daughter.
As a daughter of a mom who worked herself tirelessly, I followed in her footsteps. Pouring into self care now, but woah am I tired. I’m trying to model it differently now with 4 older children. I often audibly tell myself “it’s never too late to love yourself”
I’m genuinely happy for you.

Love this! And yes yes yes – I remind myself of that many times when I make the time for a workout or other short time away from my little kids. My mom sacrificed her health to take care of others and it really doesn’t end well. Among other things, it results in more work for the adult daughter taking care of the mother. Go you and go us modeling that balance.

Love this!

I love this comment! Thanks for sharing!

I adore this! It gave me goosebumps! Our words matter and this exemplifies that perfectly.

this has ted lasso written all over it!

My very gringo 3yo says “ay yi yi” always with incredible timing. He picked it up from his beloved daycare teacher. It always hits.

I’m so sorry to hear about the news and so glad you are finding support. Your ability to pick out all of these glimmers is going to serve you well.

Oh my gosh, Court. I love the way you positioned walking through an invisible spider web as a personal “ribbon-cutting ceremony”. That’s such a beautiful image to me.

Court, I am an arachnophobe and a metaphor-lover, and your web/ribbon cutting description is perfect (and makes me *almost* like spiders)! My son is twelve and giving him (and myself!) more freedom lately has been wonderful glimmer for both of us, I think.

You’ve somehow turned my least favorite thing about early morning trail runs into a positive moment! Love it.

Ribbon cutting ceremony! I love this so much! Ah can’t wait for my son to come home from school so I can tell him this. He is 8, and recently had a major growth spurt, and this morning as we were heading to the bus stop he walked through a spider web and said, “Oh no! Another spider web! Getting tall is great, except at right at that height where I walk through spider webs with my face!”.

I recommend Shrinking as a good follow-up! Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent!) is a writer on the show and it has the same laugh/cry/learn life lessons feel as Ted Lasso!

This was so nice to read — I’m delighted you like the book and have found it useful! Thanks for writing, Lykke.

I second Jenny’s Weekday Vegetarians. It is one that never leaves my counter top. It is properly stained from use!

❤️❤️❤️

OMG the bestest Hindi movie in a long long time! Highly recommend others to watch with subtitles.

Yes to this! What an amazing, amazing movie, and how beautifully it showed women supporting women

Agreed! My 17yo son has had two consecutive seasons of competitive basketball with young (21 and 28yo) male coaches and both have been respectful and kind while also being intense and leading winning teams. So happy to have them as role models for these young men (as I’ve made a point of telling them!).

Thinking of you, Agnès ❤️

I’m so sorry Agnès. Sending thoughts of love and remembrance.

Thinking of you, Agnès. Thank you for sharing your grief and the sweet details about your Dad here. Currently caring for one parent with Alzheimer’s and feeling sad about another who recently went into memory care in another state. I love that you remember your Dad as knowing the names of so many birds and loving poetry. My gentle, dignified father in law is a retired zoologist who, despite having advanced dementia, is the first to notice the birds nesting above the porch. Your description of grief feels exactly right to me. Sending you love and continued peace as you navigate this time.

I am sorry to read of your loss. I wish you even more comfort and peace, and may there be many gifts amongst the sorrow.

Oh Agnes, I am glad you shared here. Your father sounds like an amazing man–and the love you shared for each other and the love you both had for poetry and birds will be with you always. There is joy in that continuum, even as you process grief and sadness around his passing. You are so right that grief is like carrying a delicate secret. And it is OK to let it wash over you–as it will at times. Please take comfort in knowing how much he loved you. xoxo

Thank you for sharing this beautiful comment with us. I am sending you all the best.

Hello and a sad welcome to The Dead Dad Club. It’s inevitable and it’s hard but also how lucky we were to have good dads – because that is not guaranteed! Given your dad’s love of poetry can I please suggest The Jaguar by Sarah Holland-Batt? It is very beautiful with poems about grief and love and fathers. Sending love from An Internet Stranger. 💛

Thank you so much for your thoughful words. Dottie you have a sharp eye! It’s always strange and a bit magical to see those birds in Paris (so many of them!), aparently they are of no threats to the locals… there are so many stories about why there are so many (escaped from the airport, a circus, a zoo etc)…